Throughout my career supporting leaders in the pharmaceutical and technology sectors, I’ve seen the same pattern play out time and again. Brilliant scientists and technical experts step into leadership roles because of their deep knowledge and strong results. They’re exceptional at solving complex problems, delivering projects, and mastering their specialist fields. Then someone underperforms, two colleagues clash, or deadlines slip because expectations weren’t clear, and suddenly these capable professionals freeze.
They know the conversation needs to happen. They replay it in their minds, sometimes for weeks. But when the moment comes, it doesn’t quite happen. Instead, they hope things will sort themselves out, work around difficult dynamics, or quietly take on the extra load. This isn’t about lacking courage. It’s about not having the tools, language, and confidence to handle the messy human side of leadership, something few technical careers ever prepare you for.
The technical brilliance that earned the promotion rarely equips leaders for the uncomfortable reality of managing people. Conflict avoidance becomes the quiet challenge that so many face but rarely talk about.
What Makes New Leaders Sidestep Difficult Conversations
The fear of damaging relationships sits at the heart of conflict avoidance for many emerging leaders. In small, specialised teams common in pharmaceutical and technology sectors, working relationships feel particularly fragile. Leaders worry that addressing performance issues or challenging behaviours will create lasting tension, especially when they need to collaborate closely with the same people daily.
This concern intensifies when leaders lack confidence in their positional authority. Many question whether they have the right to challenge others, particularly team members who are older, more experienced in the organisation, or equally qualified technically. Imposter syndrome manifests as reluctance to address issues, with leaders wondering, “Who am I to have this conversation?”
The Technical Expert Trap
The transition from technical expert to people manager rarely includes training in emerging leaders conflict management. Scientists, engineers, and IT professionals typically reach leadership positions through demonstrated expertise in their field. Yet the skills required to manage complex experimental protocols or debug software systems differ fundamentally from those needed to address interpersonal challenges.
Perfectionist tendencies compound the problem. Leaders accustomed to precision and getting things exactly right struggle with the ambiguity inherent in human interactions. There’s no perfect script for difficult conversations, no guaranteed positive outcome. This uncertainty paralyses action for those who prefer clear procedures and definitive solutions.
The Hidden Costs of Staying Silent
Whilst avoiding conflict feels safer in the moment, the consequences accumulate quickly. Team performance deteriorates as unaddressed issues fester. Minor frustrations escalate into major problems. High performers become disengaged when they observe poor behaviour going unchallenged, questioning why they should maintain standards when others don’t.
The career implications extend beyond immediate team dynamics. Senior leaders assess readiness for advancement partly through capability to handle challenging situations. Those who consistently sidestep difficult conversations get labelled as “not quite ready” for more senior positions, regardless of their technical competence.
Personal stress compounds over time. The mental burden of knowing conversations should happen but constantly postponing them creates anxiety that affects wellbeing. Leaders find themselves working longer hours trying to compensate for team dysfunction rather than addressing root causes directly.
Building Confidence in Conflict Resolution
The encouraging news? Leadership conflict confidence develops through practice and proper frameworks. Reframing how leaders think about conflict represents the crucial first step. Rather than viewing these conversations as confrontations, consider them opportunities to clarify expectations, remove obstacles, and help team members succeed.
Start With Low-Stakes Practice
Building new managers conflict resolution skills works best through gradual progression. Begin with relatively straightforward conversations about minor issues before tackling complex performance problems. This approach builds confidence whilst developing conversational muscle memory.
Consider addressing small process improvements, clarifying task expectations, or discussing preferred communication styles. These lower-pressure situations allow leaders to practise structuring feedback without the weight of potential disciplinary consequences.
Use Simple Frameworks
Structure reduces anxiety. The situation-behaviour-impact model provides a straightforward approach:
Situation: Describe when and where the issue occurred
Behaviour: Explain the specific observable behaviour (not assumptions about intent)
Impact: Outline the consequences for the team, project, or business
This framework keeps conversations focused on facts rather than personality judgments, making discussions feel less confrontational and more solution-oriented.
Prepare Thoroughly But Stay Flexible
Preparation builds confidence, but over-scripting conversations creates rigidity. Plan key points to address and desired outcomes, but remain ready to adapt based on how the discussion unfolds. People rarely respond exactly as anticipated, and authentic dialogue requires responsiveness.
Consider practising with a trusted colleague, mentor, or coach who can provide feedback on your approach and help identify potential blind spots.
Recognise Influence as Learnable
Many leaders assume some people are naturally good at difficult conversations whilst others simply aren’t. This fixed mindset prevents development. In reality, influence skills can be systematically learned and refined through deliberate practice.
Investing in leadership development that specifically addresses communication, feedback, and conflict management accelerates capability building. Structured programmes designed for emerging leaders provide the frameworks and practice environments that help newly promoted professionals develop these capabilities systematically. Working with experienced facilitators provides safe environments to practise techniques, receive feedback, and develop personalised approaches that align with individual leadership styles.
Frequently Asked Questions About Managing Difficult Conversations
From Avoidance to Confidence
Conflict avoidance leadership represents a common challenge for emerging leaders, particularly those promoted from technical roles without comprehensive people management training. The discomfort surrounding difficult conversations stems from legitimate concerns about relationships, uncertainty about authority, and lack of practical frameworks for navigating challenging dynamics.
Yet avoiding these conversations carries higher costs than having them. Team performance suffers, career progression stalls, and personal stress compounds. The encouraging reality? These skills develop through practice, proper preparation, and willingness to step outside comfort zones.
Leadership isn’t about having all the answers or handling every situation perfectly. It’s about addressing issues directly, learning from each experience, and continuously developing capability to guide teams effectively. The first difficult conversation might feel daunting, but each subsequent one becomes more manageable. With the right support and structured approaches, every leader can develop the confidence to tackle challenging situations that strengthen rather than damage team dynamics.